The box is staring at me now. Like a puppy that's made a present in the hallway in the dark and it is sitting there all innocently like nothing's happened. Then you'll get up for a cup of coffee, with no slippers, because the dirtbag stole them earlier that day. And you'll go to the kitchen and on the way there will be a squelch and then you have to do that unsteady hop. I'm being taunted here. At the end, I understand why they call themselves Sinister Fish, because what kind of two bit outfit would send a game to me called Wizards & Co? Clearly didn't read the label, clearly didn't bother listening to the podcast. Clearly just doing this nonsense to taunt me.
So, I'll try to be fair and kind and write this through gritted teeth, though if I have teeth left to grind then it will be a miracle. Honestly, if you could hear me now, I'm angry typing like I'm trying to pop bubble wrap with my face. None of it is working. This is a shambles. So lets start with the rulebook. When I'm not throwing the rulebook away in absolute disgust, just trying to put any distance between me and the wretched thing, I guess it's kind of well organised. It's pretty aerodynamic, I guess that's mostly because of its size and shape and I suppose it does a decent job of explaining how to play the game, in between me dry heaving. They did diagrams and explanations and a glossary at the end.
The background to the game is long and mysterious and concerns treasure hunting, but can be simply summed up by the following. You're a friendless tragic magical disaster and you want money because the thought of actually getting off your starry backside and doing some actual work for a change seems to have eluded you. So grave robbery it is!
Just like the rulebook, the main dungeon tiles share wonderful frisbee type properties, so before you play the game, if you want, feel free to chuck them out the window, or try skimming them on a lake. they also look really flammable. Probably due to the effort that has gone in to making them look like a bejewelled fireplace with surrounding stairs. For those who like a warm hand on their entrance, you'll have to put up with some shiny shiny pictures of jewels. Looks ok I guess. There's a statue there with a sword two and they're also double sided. Obviously trying to show off or something.
The same artwork extends to the cards, clear and crisp and really pushing out the imagination boat with the choice of red, yellow, green and red as the main colours. Not really bright though. The yellow is kind of mustard if I'm being honest. Thank goodness the art work isn't a complete disaster. Nice to see they let the person with some kind of style and grace do the illustration stuff who clearly stood by their principles and refuse to put pen to paper and draw a wizard. Gold star. Golf Clap. There's wooden jewels of various colour. But be warned. They don't really taste good at all.
And now the conflict creeps in. Well, it creeps in after you spend a number of turns placing cards around the entrance to the dungeon that serve as monsters, trying to get their hands on the all important treasure. You're trying to place monsters in entrances and each of those monsters might have a special power that will effect the cards that surround them on both sides. I'm going to admit that the card play is different to how normal that I play. The number of cards you have play that round effects the number of cards you draw for the next. Play too quickly and you'll be forced to sit the next round out until you can get cards back in your hand. Sometimes you have to charge in to secure certain spots and make sure you can come top in the battle that will follow on. It results in a miniature bouts of analysis paralysis, like only the worst and most frustrating games would do. Typical really. You can't make me praise this, and you aren't going to. There's still a wizard involved.
Battle then follows and card actions are resolved, monsters are boosted or eliminated and the poor buggers left around the dungeon would share the spoils, if it wasn't for the fact they have to be delivered to the useless lazy magic user. They have to take solace in the collection of an artefact that will help then on to the next dungeon. Dungeons always have new enchantments which will effect how they play out and what the best tactics to use to avoid collect cursed gems and therefore effect your score at the end of the day. Luckily you can add to your deck with some more poor souls that have been suckered in to work for your good for nothing work shy fop.
Thankfully the whole thing doesn't eat into too much time, though I'm pained to report that between the different dungeon tiles based on the number of players, and the additional cards thanks to alternative player cards and rulesets, you're going to have to suffer this gaming bunion for the longest time if you'll want to see everything that the game has to offer. I guess you could play it as some kind of punishment for when your kids haven't been well behaved. Offer it as an alternative to them doing their homework, and watch them rise to the top of their classes as clean the house from top to bottom as opposed to being part of this wizard and company. At least its winter time and you've got some kindling for the fire. Just don't let it get you under its spell. You just might end up liking it, and then we can't be friends any more.
Should have known better - Virginio Gigli, Flaminia Brasini, Stefano Luperto, Antonio Tinto
Saving the project artistically - Miguel Coimbra
Not being invited to their wedding - Dave Clarke, Nick Welford.
Add to your block list - https://sinisterfish.com/product/wizards-co/?location=61
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